I need to stop coming to work sober
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize