I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
