Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
