Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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