You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
