what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
