she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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