I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
