She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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