oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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