Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
