I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
