he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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