So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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