i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
