Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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