Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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