I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
