wanna go halves on a baby?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
