is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
