Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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