take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
