Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
