I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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