"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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