i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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