No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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