Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
