that's an acceptable place to lick
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
