if you like me you must not know who I am
thus making me awesome and them whores
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
