i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
ugly people sure do ruin things
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
