the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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