Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
