If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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