Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
vagina is talking i cant
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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