She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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