I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
last night I used snow as a chaser
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize