Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
