2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
