i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
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Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
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IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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