Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
