Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
