So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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