Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
