i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
