You really coming over, don't trick.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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