Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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