I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
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we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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