adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
