Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
God, I missed his penis.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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