I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
