Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
