he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
