real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
