i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
