Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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