I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize