i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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