tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
